I think I have been in ministry just long enough to have made a few observations of people slowly lose out spiritually. I'd like to chronicle a proposed process for abandoning the Lord & His Church.
First let me note that while I do believe an individual can forfeit the saving grace they received, I also believe it is more rare than some would like to acknowledge. Most often people we believe have backslidden have really never been born-again to start with. (I do not believe "once saved always saved." I believe God gives you a choice to serve Him and a choice to reject Him too.)
But, let me make a few observations of how this process takes place:
1) Nurture spiritual pride. Convince yourself that you are more spiritual than the Christians around you. (You are holier, more important, more intellectual, more talented, more valuable, etc.)
2) Come up with a good reason to stop doing any ministry through your local church. Good reasons include, but are not limited to: "I just don't have enough time." "I have too many irons in the fire." "I can't take the stress any more." "I need to spend more time with my family."
3) Come up with a good reason to stop participating in some of the peripheral ministries of the church such as prayer meetings, Sunday School, Bible studies, and small group meetings. (Make sure that you don't use the same excuse over, it is more easily spotted as a spiritual need on your part if you do.) A good excuse at this point is to be "hurt" by something innocent that was said by someone at a prayer meeting or Bible study. Be upset by what that person implied. (If you are really lucky some other person in the same spiritual boat as you will intentionally say something hurtful.)
4) At this point stop socializing with other Christians in the church; it will only make your final break more difficult. Get to church late and leave immediately following the service or before the response time at the end.. (When you do socialize, make sure to do it with someone else who is disenfranchised about something going on at church. You will be able to feed off of each other.)
5) Keep an up-to-date record of everything your pastor does wrong. Do not give the pastor any slack. Assume the pastor is out to get you.
6) Tell people: "I'm just not being fed." Ignore the fact it is no one else's job to feed you; after all, church is all about your needs.
7) Get hurt/mad/upset with a random member of the church (it can be the pastor) about something small. People will understand why you forsake the Lord & His church if you let them know about how that person looked at you funny during communion. (If it is the pastor, it will be easier to cover up your own spiritual deficiency because nobody really likes the pastor anyway.)
8) Don't read the Bible very much. (You're actually too spiritual for that anyway.) Instead, read some book by a guy who doesn't believe in God, but claims to know all about Him.
9) Don't pray. (Actually, this probably was dead anyway, else you wouldn't be backsliding. But, just in case, you are praying, stop.)
10) Convince yourself that the church (body of Christ) is not necessary for you. Come to the realization that you cannot really learn anything from Sunday School, the pastor's messages, or any other branch of the local church's ministry. (Remember you are close to self-actualization!)
11) Convince yourself that you do more good by yourself than working with the rest of the body of Christ. Who needs a hand and foot? You are an island!
12) Church-hop (you can repeat the above steps at each new church only in a shorter time period.) It's also a good way to leave your original church and still give the impression you are okay.
13) Make the "discovery" that the church has it all wrong on issues of morality (you may even discover that there is no such thing as morality). The church is just out dated morality and antiquated ethics; but you know about true spirituality.
14) Realize that you are a Christian, so everything you do is, by definition, Christian activity!
15) Come up with your own "religious issue" that trumps all others and thus makes the faith of all others worthless compared to yours. (Issues like King James Version of the Bible only, no food in the church, no musical instruments, everyone must wear a tie, no one should wear a tie, social justice, etc.) They can be notable issues, but make them your complete focus over the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
16) Be miserable. (Get use to it; backsliding is a miserable road.)
17) If you are still going to church at this point, embrace the forms of religion. It's easy to mimic the liturgy and forms of Christianity. Make sure you just don't get too close to the power.
18) Be hostile to all Christians and the Church. Continually focus on the hypocrites and ignore anything good.
19) Stay busy, drunk, and/or active so that there is no chance the Holy Spirit will speak to you and draw you back to where you need to be. Absolutely do not read the Bible or pray or talk to a strong/mature Christian... God can speak through these things.
20) Work on developing a hard heart. Nurture bitterness, resentment, hurt, and anger. Scold yourself for participating in the church and/or lament your childhood of growing up in church.
Congratulations. If you can accomplish the previous 20 steps you will now, if not before, officially make it onto the prayer list of most churches. (Assuming of course that churches still pray for lost people.) What might you add?
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