Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Trouble at the Inn

By Dina Donohue from Guideposts (original article can be found here).
*****
For years now, whenever Christmas pageants are talked about in a certain little town in the Midwest, someone is sure to mention the name of Wallace Purling.

Wally's performance in one annual production of the Nativity play has slipped into the realm of legend. But the old-timers who were in the audience that night never tire of recalling exactly what happened.
Wally was nine that year and in the second grade, though he should have been in the fourth. Most people in town knew that he had difficulty keeping up. He was big and awkward, slow in movement and mind.
Still, Wally was well liked by the other children in his class, all of whom were smaller than he, though the boys had trouble hiding their irritation when Wally would ask to play ball with them or any game, for that matter, in which winning was important.
They'd find a way to keep him out, but Wally would hang around anyway—not sulking, just hoping. He was a helpful boy, always willing and smiling, and the protector, paradoxically, of the underdog. If the older boys chased the younger ones away, it would be Wally who'd say, "Can't they stay? They're no bother."
Wally fancied the idea of being a shepherd in the Christmas pageant, but the play's director, Miss Lumbard, assigned him a more important role. After all, she reasoned, the innkeeper did not have too many lines, and Wally's size would make his refusal of lodging to Joseph more forceful.
And so it happened that the usual large, partisan audience gathered for the town's yearly extravaganza of crooks and creches, of beards, crowns, halos and a whole stageful of squeaky voices.

No one on stage or off was more caught up in the magic of the night than Wallace Purling. They said later that he stood in the wings and watched the performance with such fascination that Miss Lumbard had to make sure he didn't wander onstage before his cue.

Then the time came when Joseph appeared, slowly, tenderly guiding Mary to the door of the inn. Joseph knocked hard on the wooden door set into the painted backdrop. Wally the innkeeper was there, waiting.
"What do you want?" Wally said, swinging the door open with a brusque gesture.
"We seek lodging."
"Seek it elsewhere." Wally spoke vigorously. "The inn is filled."
"Sir, we have asked everywhere in vain. We have traveled far and are very weary."
"There is no room in this inn for you." Wally looked properly stern.
"Please, good innkeeper, this is my wife, Mary. She is heavy with child and needs a place to rest. Surely you must have some small corner for her. She is so tired."
Now, for the first time, the innkeeper relaxed his stiff stance and looked down at Mary. With that, there was a long pause, long enough to make the audience a bit tense with embarrassment.
"No! Begone!" the prompter whispered.
"No!" Wally repeated automatically. "Begone!"
Joseph sadly placed his arm around Mary and Mary laid her head upon her husband's shoulder and the two of them started to move away. The innkeeper did not return inside his inn, however. Wally stood there in the doorway, watching the forlorn couple. His mouth was open, his brow creased with concern, his eyes filling unmistakably with tears.
And suddenly this Christmas pageant became different from all others.
"Don't go, Joseph," Wally called out. "Bring Mary back." And Wallace Purling's face grew into a bright smile. "You can have my room."
Some people in town thought that the pageant had been ruined. Yet there were others—many, many others—who considered it the most Christmas of all Christmas pageants they had ever seen.
********
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Thursday, December 6, 2018

Getting "Unfriended" in Real Life

10 Ways to Get Unfriended in Real Life!

(1) Do all the talking. And always have the last word. Anything your friends would have to say is probably boring and irrelevant anyway. Make sure an overwhelming majority of the discussion is from you.

(2) "Anything you can do, I can do better. Akin to this one is the "Always be right." mentality. Always "one up" whatever your friends have to say. Did they get a raise? Yours was higher. Did they accomplish a goal? Yours was bigger. Did they reach a milestone in life? You already passed it. And never acknowledge you were wrong.

(3) Expect your friends to always be on the giving side of the relationship. They owe you. They ought to give you money when you're in trouble. Be there for you when you are in a crisis. Don't worry about their lives, just that they exist to lift you up. When they see you coming, they'll know they owe you something!

(4) Make the subject of every conversation you. Is there anything better to talk about? Quote yourself often, it adds spice to your conversation. But it doesn't add much spice to your relationships. Anything that your friends have done, accomplished, or been a part of is probably going to be boring compared to your life & accomplishments.

(5) Give your friends frequent ultimatums. If your friends won't do what you want, the way you want it, then lay out an ultimatum. Always make them aware of the fact that you have drawn a line in the sand. Relationships tend to thrive under this kind of pressure.


(6) Gossip. Some people realize that if you are willing to gossip about others to them, then you are no doubt going to gossip about them to others. The juicier the better... keep spreading the word. A sharp tongue can lose plenty of friends.

(7) Make your friendship based on your happiness. If they drag you down...let them go. Look for someone who will benefit you and your life, not vice versa. The less you invest in your friendships the better when it comes to getting unfriended. Remember, they will understand that you are more important than they are and if not, who needed them anyway?

(8) Be sensitive. Let your friends know when they have offended you (especially over small things). Keep them obligated and always asking for forgiveness. Make sure everyone is walking on egg shells around you.

(9) Don't mind your manners. Be rude. Be obnoxious. Be loud. Be embarrassing. And do it without reservation, just don't be polite. The more inconsiderate you are the more quickly they will plan on getting rid of you as a friend!

(10) Complain about everything. Be a whiner. Criticize. Be the dark cloud that blocks every ray of sunshine. Never be happy, optimistic, enthusiastic, or excited about anything... just complain. Always talk about your problems, your aches & pains, the bad things that have happened to you and the like. It's kind of like congregating at a dumpster.

I am sure there are other ways to get people to "unfriend" you, what would you add?


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