How to Lead Your Church Into Apostasy.

Apostasy is the abandonment or renunciation of a religious or political belief.

Let me give you a game plan for moving your church away from orthodoxy and into Ichabod.

1. Start subtle. Don't rush your heresy. Use wisdom on when to reveal that you are not orthodox in your Christian beliefs. Be unclear about your beliefs at first. Articulate your apostacy publicly as if you are pondering things deeply. When you do reveal your beliefs make sure you do so with the humility to admit that the more you read books other than the Bible, the more you were convinced everyone has had it wrong about God for the last 2000 years. That's not arrogant, that's education.

2. Categorize Biblical truth in ways that seek to erode its legitimacy. Disregarding the divine inspiration of the Bible is a good way to begin to lay out your blueprints for a new kind of Christianity. As long as people take the Bible seriously, they won't buy your cheap counterfeit. If you are having trouble with some people continuing to hold to it's authoritative stance, accuse them of worshiping the Bible instead of Jesus. It's a false dichotomy, but it sounds like idolatry. You can even call it Bibliolatry. Before your apostacy is fully realized, begin appealing to sources of authority other than the Bible.

3. Characterize holiness in solely terms of social justice. Personal piety, personal holiness, and moral living must be framed in terms of legalism. Remember that we are really working to absolve people of any personal responsibility. When others in the church call you out for your worldly living, claim that you are ministering to people like Jesus and that he was criticized too. Better yet, become a social media activist and take pictures in front of a food pantry.

4. Do not embrace biblical truth that is rejected by culture. Embrace things in the Bible that the world already agrees with. This makes your brand of Christianity more palatable. Learn how to incorporate ideals and values espoused in the media (news, movies, music, etc) into your preaching & teaching. For example, use rainbows to identify more with those in sexual crisis than Christ. There will be more "Christians" if it is only an issue of identity and not lifestyle. You want people walking into your church to come to the revelation: "This church believes what I believe."

5. Characterize evangelism in terms of social justice. Repentance and the forgiveness of sins starts things on a sour note. Since we are created in the image of God we get to make the claim that everyone goes to Heaven. If people buy that then they have to walk away issues of repentance and new spiritual birth. Keep claiming that we don't start with the Genesis 3, but with Genesis 1. Claim it long enough and you might get people to forget about Genesis 3. Do nice things for others but never deal with the only obstacle between humanity and a holy God.

6. Assume that Biblical truths are up for debate. It's obviously clear in Scripture, but with darkened understanding and a few linguistical hurdles anyone can confuse what the Bible says to the masses. When you convince others to make the Bible a buffet to choose from you may also be able to be the one who chooses what everyone believes.

7. Take the intellectual high ground. Redefine words, use elaborate words that a common person couldn't define, and even throw in some words you have misused. Did you go to seminary? Do you have a PhD? These things automatically qualify you to distort the faith that has been passed down to you. Those who disagree with you obviously do so because they have not been educated. They haven't gone to Bible College or seminary. They have not done the in depth research into Freud, Nietzsche, Rob Bell, and others that have helped enlighten you.

8. You will need to employ some revisionistic history. For example, make John Wesley say whatever you want to say. Claim that those that disagree with you are not Wesleyan-Arminian in their thinking. If they don't retreat from your superior intellect take it on the offensive by claiming they are Fundamentalists, legalistic, uneducated, Pharisees, or any other of a number of culturally frightening labels.

9. Here is a plan to help you undercut orthodoxy in your church. Distort the following truths/doctrines/ideas in no particular order: the Bible's authority, de-emphasize piety, instantaneous works of God (entire sanctification, being born again, etc), the Bible definition of love (it needs to be more sentimental than holy), the reality of Hell, the need for repentance, downplay Biblical principles about abortion or living in active homosexual relationship, embrace universalism (everyone goes to Heaven), disregard Biblical atonement and replace with "other theories" (Jesus didn't die as a payment for our sins, he only died because people didn't like him), etc.

10. Finally, be sure to accuse everyone else of being divisive. Convince everyone that we should all seek unity because we are in the same tribe living under the same tent. Never mind that our unity is found in submission to the life and teachings of Jesus in the Bible. You can't be Christian (Christ like) and refute what God says! But try and convince everyone that you are not really the one causing division by holding heretical views and opinions based on human philosophy. Remember, everyone who disagrees with you is unloving. 

Good luck in your adventure to lead your church down the road of apostasy. Remember, it's a long process full of small victories, but if you can be stubborn and persistent... you may just cause someone like the United Methodist to not be United anymore!

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