What every lay person wishes their pastor knew. Written from the perspective of a lay person in the church.
1. Walk with God. We know you have some clear gifts & talents for ministry. You are a warm, friendly, maybe even charismatic person. But all that won't make a difference if you don't keep walking with God. Many of us know that you are extremely busy and have a lot on your plate. We also know that it is most important that you stay close to God. Pray and seek the face of God, everything else will take care of itself. We want to follow someone who is being led by the Holy Spirit.
2. Come and see me. It seems old fashioned and a lot of us lay people are embarrassed to say it because we know you are busy... but we really want you to come and visit us in our home. We need a chance to connect with you in a setting we are comfortable in. When I'm in the hospital, I'd love to see my pastor. A read of the ministry of Jesus in the New Testament would indicate being present with people was pretty important. You can make a difference by spending your valuable time on your people. Is it about people or programs?
3. Don't change everything. When you first arrive and start changing everything (even small things) it makes us uncomfortable. While we love you and are glad you are with us, we are still learning to trust you... we don't really know you. We know some things need to change. Please give us a chance to learn to trust you and your leadership. Plus, it may just be that the way we have been doing something is the best way to do it! Also remember that we have had a lot of pastors who thought their preferences were more spiritual than ours.
4. Preach with passion. We're not looking for a regurgitation of a lecture you heard in bible college or seminary. We are looking for the truth that you zealously believe. Let that be apparent to us. It may be difficult for us to explain, but there is a difference between preaching and teaching. We have heard a lot of preachers who don't even seem like they believe what they are talking about. We don't want emotionalism, but we need to see some passion.
5. Stay away from petty conflicts in the church. Of course there are two or three people who can't agree on the paint color in the Jr High Sunday School classroom. Don't sweat that. You have more important things to worry about. As you keep leading us toward Christ, it will help us to get things into perspective. We will sort out some of our differences over time; we are a family after all. Please focus on the big issues.
6. We will care more about what you have to say when we know that you care about us. We have had pastors who sent out fancy newsletters, put together extravagant ministry programs, and waxed elegant in the pulpit on Sunday. One thing most of us have missed is having a pastor... not just a preacher, administrator, etc. Visit the elderly of our church and the ones that can no longer attend who are in nursing homes and hospitals. Let us know you care, not only about potential "workers" or "givers" in the church, but also about those have nothing to offer, but need to be ministered too.
7. We are not nearly as concerned as you are about "growing the church." Wait, let me explain. You want the attendance to be high, the offerings to be up, and the Sunday School rooms to be full. We do too, in a way. However we are more concerned about our neighbors & family members who do not know Christ. We're praying for our co-workers and our friends who are lost and desperately need Jesus. I know, we are really saying the same thing, but look again... we may not be.
8. Be patient with us when we are hesitant about your "big idea." We have had pastors in our past who presented the greatest idea ever. It was costly (we may still be paying for it), it took a lot of time, it caused a lot of division, it may even have been divisive. Some of those big ideas were really just bad ideas that failed miserably. Extend us a little grace since we get cold feet when the pastor brings a big idea to us. Maybe some time to think and pray about it, like you have been doing before you presented the idea, would be helpful.
9. Try to understand why we do what we do. Be sensitive to the things we feel strongly about. Don't be upset we have convictions. You are probably not our first preacher so we've been taught by others pastors who have shaped our way of understanding God and living out our faith. Instead of investing all your time and energy in trying to convince us to let go of the things we believe God wants us to be doing, just love us. Be thankful that we are really serious about living out our faith in Christ and not just attending church once a week.
10. Challenge us. We know there is more that God wants to do among us. Walk with us through those things. Preach faithfully the word of God to us... even though you may be afraid to offend us. Those of us who are truly seeking holiness will not be offended when you present the truth from God's Word with boldness. Don't challenge us where you think we have need, challenge us where God leads.
What might you include in a letter to a pastor?
Also check out my letter to lay people...
Dear Lay Person
1. Walk with God. We know you have some clear gifts & talents for ministry. You are a warm, friendly, maybe even charismatic person. But all that won't make a difference if you don't keep walking with God. Many of us know that you are extremely busy and have a lot on your plate. We also know that it is most important that you stay close to God. Pray and seek the face of God, everything else will take care of itself. We want to follow someone who is being led by the Holy Spirit.
2. Come and see me. It seems old fashioned and a lot of us lay people are embarrassed to say it because we know you are busy... but we really want you to come and visit us in our home. We need a chance to connect with you in a setting we are comfortable in. When I'm in the hospital, I'd love to see my pastor. A read of the ministry of Jesus in the New Testament would indicate being present with people was pretty important. You can make a difference by spending your valuable time on your people. Is it about people or programs?
3. Don't change everything. When you first arrive and start changing everything (even small things) it makes us uncomfortable. While we love you and are glad you are with us, we are still learning to trust you... we don't really know you. We know some things need to change. Please give us a chance to learn to trust you and your leadership. Plus, it may just be that the way we have been doing something is the best way to do it! Also remember that we have had a lot of pastors who thought their preferences were more spiritual than ours.
4. Preach with passion. We're not looking for a regurgitation of a lecture you heard in bible college or seminary. We are looking for the truth that you zealously believe. Let that be apparent to us. It may be difficult for us to explain, but there is a difference between preaching and teaching. We have heard a lot of preachers who don't even seem like they believe what they are talking about. We don't want emotionalism, but we need to see some passion.
5. Stay away from petty conflicts in the church. Of course there are two or three people who can't agree on the paint color in the Jr High Sunday School classroom. Don't sweat that. You have more important things to worry about. As you keep leading us toward Christ, it will help us to get things into perspective. We will sort out some of our differences over time; we are a family after all. Please focus on the big issues.
6. We will care more about what you have to say when we know that you care about us. We have had pastors who sent out fancy newsletters, put together extravagant ministry programs, and waxed elegant in the pulpit on Sunday. One thing most of us have missed is having a pastor... not just a preacher, administrator, etc. Visit the elderly of our church and the ones that can no longer attend who are in nursing homes and hospitals. Let us know you care, not only about potential "workers" or "givers" in the church, but also about those have nothing to offer, but need to be ministered too.
7. We are not nearly as concerned as you are about "growing the church." Wait, let me explain. You want the attendance to be high, the offerings to be up, and the Sunday School rooms to be full. We do too, in a way. However we are more concerned about our neighbors & family members who do not know Christ. We're praying for our co-workers and our friends who are lost and desperately need Jesus. I know, we are really saying the same thing, but look again... we may not be.
8. Be patient with us when we are hesitant about your "big idea." We have had pastors in our past who presented the greatest idea ever. It was costly (we may still be paying for it), it took a lot of time, it caused a lot of division, it may even have been divisive. Some of those big ideas were really just bad ideas that failed miserably. Extend us a little grace since we get cold feet when the pastor brings a big idea to us. Maybe some time to think and pray about it, like you have been doing before you presented the idea, would be helpful.
9. Try to understand why we do what we do. Be sensitive to the things we feel strongly about. Don't be upset we have convictions. You are probably not our first preacher so we've been taught by others pastors who have shaped our way of understanding God and living out our faith. Instead of investing all your time and energy in trying to convince us to let go of the things we believe God wants us to be doing, just love us. Be thankful that we are really serious about living out our faith in Christ and not just attending church once a week.
10. Challenge us. We know there is more that God wants to do among us. Walk with us through those things. Preach faithfully the word of God to us... even though you may be afraid to offend us. Those of us who are truly seeking holiness will not be offended when you present the truth from God's Word with boldness. Don't challenge us where you think we have need, challenge us where God leads.
What might you include in a letter to a pastor?
Also check out my letter to lay people...
Dear Lay Person
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