Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Annual Pastoral Report Tips

Since my denominational pastoral reports are due soon, I thought I'd try to help all those other pastors who are fumbling through the statistics and numbers they have to report with a few tips. Disclaimer: I don't think these have been approved by any denominational boards.
  
The Basics:

(1) "Average" is such a strong word. It requires complex mathematical equations and probably does more to confuse than to give a good assessment of reality. I prefer to call them "educated guesses."

(2) Be positive when accumulating your numbers. Your "averages" need to be reflective of what you hoped they were going to be this year. Always round up, always guess high, always assume the counters missed someone or multiple people. If you are discouraged, your guesses will probably reflect lower numbers so keep positive. If you prefer you can call them "faith numbers" in reference to the coming year.

(3) Everyone will tell you "it's not about the numbers" but don't let that fool you. They are probably just trying to get you to focus on something like discipleship or evangelism while they build up their numbers. It is about the numbers! 

(4) Make sure our numbers are not round numbers as that seems a little "fishy." If you average 100 for Sunday School and 150 for Worship. Someone will start to wonder if you didn't "doctor" your numbers. Your averages should never be multiples of 10, 5, or 2. For example, your numbers would be more realistic if they were Sunday School- 103 and Worship- 151.

(5) I know that there is often a significant difference between intentions and reality, but not in pastoral reports! If they said they'd be there and intended to be there, they ought to get counted.

                                      


How to increase your worship average without actually increasing your worship average:

(1) Have a Sunday night service? Well, that's a bonus since most churches don't have one. Take your morning worship average and multiply it by 1.5. That number is looking better already!

(2) We all know that people get up and leave the service to go the restroom, fix their hair, take the baby to the nursery, etc. Whoever counts will probably miss those people. Add 7% to your worship average for the "hall & foyer traffic."

(3) Have babies in the sanctuary during service? You need to add 3% to your average attendance (round up). Do you know how difficult it is for the counter to make sure and cover every baby in the sanctuary? They can be easily missed... but not on your statistics!

(4) Is your church located in a subdivision or community surrounded by houses and/or apartments? Turn up the sound system and open a window and you could conceivably triple your worship attendance "average." The sky is the limit here!

(5) Maybe your church is located on a main highway instead of a subdivision. Do you have a message board church sign? It may be a short sermon, but its something! Use those three lines to bump up your worship average. You know that sign blesses hundreds... maybe thousands of people a day. You might just be the pastor of a mega church and not even know it!

(6) We take a strong stand on the fact that life begins at conception. With that in mind, any pregnant women in the church can be counted twice: once for the mother and once for the baby. (Just to be safe you may want to assume that mothers are going to carry twins.)

(7) Those extremely dedicated church attendees who sit on the first two or three rows need to be counted twice. Anyone who would put themselves through the torture of sitting that close to the preacher while he is preaching needs to be counted twice (maybe three times). That's just not normal.

(8) Snow day ruin your Sunday attendance? Rain? Sickness? Drop that Sunday from your average. Obviously, had God wanted that to count in your average attendance he would not have sent that pestilence among the people of the church. The sun would have been shining. To "average" in that low number may be in defiance to a higher authority.

(9) Have some "regulars" out this Sunday? Add them anyway. If they come 3 out of 4 Sundays a month they are regular attendees and need to be counted. If they weren't on vacation they would be at church. If they weren't getting the holiday shopping done they would be at church. If they weren't watching the ball game, they would be at church. If they weren't so tired, they would be at church. Since they would be there if they could, you need to count them.

(10) Does your church have sermons available online for streaming or download? If so, do you realize that the Internet is worldwide!? There are literally millions of people with Internet access around the world! You have the potential of doubling the size of your whole denomination! You are probably responsible for church plants in places you've never heard of before!

I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm going to have some major gains this year!! Prepare for district assembly rewards.



Check out these other articles:

Why I Like the Church of the Nazarene