How to be a Youth Pastor...

Are you searching for a youth pastor at your church? Here are a few tips on how to be a good youth pastor! (Pardon the sarcasm.)

1) Style your hair so it looks like you didn't style it at all. Good youth pastors spend a lot of time making their hair style look like they haven't spent any time on it. All teenagers want a youth pastor that looks like... he didn't comb his hair in the morning. It makes them seem 'in touch' with the teenage world.

2) Get multiple piercings and/or some tattoos. It helps teenagers realize you identify with them. It is important that you are just like them. It also helps your personal coolness factor! Who wants an un-cool youth pastor? A youth pastor has the enormous responsibility to be the coolest person in the room at any given time. Plus piercing is a simple, practical way to be holy!

3) Don't use the Bible. It has so much archaic language and ideas that it will be a major turn off to teens. Teenagers today will simply not stay around if you study, quote, or teach from the Bible. If baby boomers can't relate to teens then how in the world is a 2000+ year old book going to relate? (Want to keep a crowd? Try entertaining them!)

4) Be as much like a teenager as possible. Be their friend. They do not want or need a pastor, they need someone that has poor decision making skills like them. Stop judging teens and start hanging out with them. They don't need instruction, they need validation. Affirm them, don't correct them. They don't need another parent giving them direction and insight for life. Plus, their parents don't understand them like a good youth pastor will.

5) Talk about how cool Jesus was; if you even talk about Jesus. Talking about Jesus to teens is a risky venture, because someone might bring up the words of Jesus; like: "Whoever would follow me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." Just stick with cool miracles he did... not what he said. Convince teenagers that if Jesus were alive today he would wear cool clothes, be in the popular group, and be everyone's favorite.

6) Food, Fun, & Fellowship. Those are the three 'F's to a superb ministry (adult or youth). Do not get pre-occupied with other ventures like discipleship, evangelism, the Truth of the Bible, etc. Those things don't grow youth groups, they turn teens away. Distract teens by what they are really looking for at church. Without theses components... you're not going to have a youth group.

7) Rockin' Music! Every generation has to develop its own style. The old people of your church (if you still allow them to come) cannot begin to know how to worship like teens know how to worship. Rock it out every single time you get together. It's not about Jesus, it's about what we perceive the teens like. Get a band that looks like a secular band too, not a decent looking group (see numbers 1, 2, & 4). We want teens to know that no matter how they dress, act, think, or value, Jesus loves them just the way they are and doesn't expect them to change.

8) Talk about the Love of God without talking about any other charactersitics of God. The righteousness and holiness of God are discussions best left to the Senior adults of the church. (And absolutely do not talk about the judgement of God unless you are interested in driving teens away.) I know that the idea of love has been perverted by the world, but don't worry about clarifying it. I wise theologian once said: All you need is love. Most teens don't even know that God loves them, remind them over and over again.

9) Quote or show clips from inappropriate movies. Some R rated movies have a good message (disregard the means vs the ends idea) and there is no way you could possibly illustrate some points you make with Scripture. Sure it implies that you have watched the whole movie and, at some level, recommend it, but hey: they are going to watch the movie anyway.

10) Convince the youth of your church that adults and anyone that does not go along with their ideas are legalistic and judgemental! (Nevermind that you are making a judgement of them by saying they are judgemental.) Give them the trump card: "Don't judge me." (Nevermind about 1 Corinthians 5:12.) Make sure they do not interact with the older saints of the church; it could influence them to mature or something. It would be terrible if they reached a deeper place spiritually than you. What if they began to take their faith seriously and develop some kind of conviction about something important?

11) #bringbackSoulPatch !!

Why I Stopped Giving to the Poor...

I saw that same guy at that same intersection two weeks ago. He wore similar attire. He was disheveled with his ski hat, multiple jackets, & stained cargo pants. There was visible grime underneath his fingernails and the hair sticking out from underneath his ski hat was uncombed and apparently uncared for in recent days. He appeared tired, discouraged, and overall worn down from life.

He suddenly sprang to life as he walked toward the second vehicle from the red light we were all waiting on. His outstretched hand received some amount of currency from the sleek & new looking Toyota SUV. He waived with the cardboard sign to the driver in appreciation for the gift. The light turned green and we began to ease through the intersection.

As I slowly moved passed him we made eye contact. He had resumed his position and held his sign pointing toward oncoming vehicles. "Homeless, sick, and in need. Anything helps. God bless." The cardboard sign was scrawled with handwritten lettering from a black marker. The eye contact was painfully awkward for me. I care about people. While I didn't have cash, I did have a few dollars worth of spare change. I pulled on through the intersection without stopping. The awkward feeling quickly passed and I was on my way.

I began to think about what had just happened. Why had I felt compelled to give to this man with a sign? Why had I felt so awkward making eye contact with him? Why had I not given?

I made a choice at that moment that turned into a model for life. I don't give money to guys (or ladies) on the side of the street with a sign. Let me try to explain why and then you can be the judge.

1. It's too easy. Handing a couple of bucks out the window of my car is easy for sure. Too easy in fact. It absolves me of real involvement and real change. I ease my conscious and the awkward encounter at the intersection by giving some spare change from my car cup holder. I've done my good deed for the day. I'm finished. Wow, with a buck thirty five, I've changed the world for at least one person... No, you haven't. It's too easy.

2. The answer to poverty is not money. Yeah, I know, that doesn't make sense. But there are deeper more systematic problems relating to poverty (and homelessness) than just a financial one. The problem of poverty is not a problem of dollar amount. If it were just a financial problem, our government could have solved it already. There are issues of money management, mental health, education, crisis situations, addictions, and more. Which leads to my next reason...

3. Throwing money at poverty often creates more problems than it solves. A few bucks may help meet some immediate needs, but does not change the factors that probably led to this situation to begin with. Your spare change may actually cause him to stay in the situation because he has found that gives immediate solutions to his immediate problems. Always dealing with the symptoms of poverty only really helps to create a larger root system of causes. It might ease your conscious, but it won't help the situation.

4. I'm into long term solutions. Ever heard the expression: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" That's not to dismiss the need to address some immediate or emergency needs, but that our attention needs to be on the long term goals of dealing with causes of and not symptoms of poverty.

5. I do not wish to be an enabler. There are some who have found themselves homeless or in poverty due to an ongoing battle with addiction. In these cases money is not only unhelpful, but downright harmful as cash enables them to continue to fund their addiction. Much of the sign toting folks at intersections are looking for their next fix or high. Your money is used support their addiction, not help them escape poverty. In other words, giving to that guy with the sign may actually keep him/her in a dangerous state of addiction as you have assisted in being an enabler.

Want some feasible options that will really help? As a pastor, I have committed myself to actually doing what a lot of churches talk about doing... ministering among the hurting and poor around us. From that experience, let me suggest a few things that might help you in navigating real help to the poor.

1. Have a conversation with the person. Prepare for a long winding erratic conversation. If you are wise enough you will begin to understand how that person arrived where they are. When you begin to talk to a person, they become more than a hard luck story. They become a person. They become someone with real needs that are more significant than a few bucks from your cup holder could ever solve.

2. Give to your local Rescue Mission, Salvation Army, homeless shelter, church, or social ministry center. Money without accountability or relationship is causing harm. Give regularly to those places, people, and ministries that are providing more than a dollar amount to address the problem of poverty. No institution or person is perfect, but they will probably be doing a better job than your four dollars at the intersection.

3. Get to know people who are in tough financial situations and form relationships. Interact with people at church or put yourself in a place where you have the opportunity to meet real people with real needs. Develop a relationship (you might find that poverty has it's own culture). Then work from that basis to meet a variety of the causes of poverty and not just the symptom of poverty.

4. You can't help everyone. Jesus told the disciples who, with their 'holier than thou' attitude, were critical of a woman who was anointing Jesus and claimed she should have sold the oil and gave it to the poor that they will always have the poor among them. While you cannot help everyone, you can help someone.

5. There is a deeper poverty than a financial one. Keep in mind with interacting with people that poverty is not the biggest problem in the world. It is no sin to be poor. In fact, James says that the love of money is the root of all kind of evil. Jesus even blessed those who were poor. Without discernment one might go through life seeking money. If that's you, one day you will meet someone with less material wealth than you but who possesses something inwardly that is eternal. That person will expose your poverty.

I haven't stopped giving. In fact, I believe I give more now. In addition to giving to my local church and other ministries aimed at the problem of poverty and homelessness, I have become personally involved in the lives of people. I give time and personal involvement.

So what do you think?

**I later went back to the intersection and helped the man I referred to above by developing a long term relationship that will hopefully lead to some real solutions.

Also check out...

Why I Don't Drink Alcohol

Why I Don't Play the Lottery